Jealousy
by D.L. SchizoAuthoress
Summary: High rating due to "R" of original movie. Justin reflects on the "perfect murder" and Richard's jealousy while in the greenhouse with Lisa. ~Implied one-side R/J~ CH 3 UP! Lisa gets a say...
1. Jealousy

"Jealousy"  
  
a murder by numbers fanfiction  
  
SchizoAuthoress schizoauthoress@hotmail.com  
  
How can you be so possessive of me? You're supposed to hate me. You can't stand me. That's why we agreed to do this. . . we'd never be associated with each other.  
  
But you're watching us, aren't you? Watching me. Well, Richard. . .  
  
This is an unsuspected development. I think that if I didn't know you as well as I do, I'd suspect that you were watching this Lisa Mills slut. But then, with you, once the 'relationship'-if you can call manipulation and sex a relationship-is over, it's *over.*  
  
So why are you there? Getting jealous? Getting possessive? Getting suspicious? Getting resentful? Getting insecure? Getting mistrustful? Hmm, Richard? Are you?  
  
How can you not trust me? Haven't I done everything?  
  
Everything.  
  
I have. I planned it. I planted the evidence. I dumped the body. I even *killed* that girl.  
  
You were, you know. You were supposed to kill that Olivia woman.and you couldn't do it. You said you were free, that you didn't want to deny me that freedom. Well. . .  
  
Look at yourself, Richard. You're not free at all. You're bound to me. Me.  
  
At least you can kill Ray. Aren't you lucky though? You have to use a gun. . . instead of your empty hands. You'll never know it, then. . .  
  
There's power in placing your hands around another human being's neck. . .you have the power to destroy them, so simply, so slowly. . .  
  
But then, perhaps you *do* understand it. After all, I swear. . . you have some kind of strangulation fetish. You enjoy slamming me against a wall, your hand on my throat. . .you have so much rage in you.  
  
So why couldn't you kill that girl?  
  
Richard. You're going to pay. . .you ruined the plan, you know. You did. You were supposed to kill her. . .so we could do it together. But *I* did it. I did it all.  
  
So I vomited near the body. It's not like I didn't do everything *else* right. *You* were the one who said I needed to go to that restaurant to build an alibi.  
  
So I forgot to be careful about how much I ate. I was *nervous*, Richard! I wanted it to go perfectly. You can't blame me for my body's reaction.  
  
Six years of bulimia can't be erased by one year of premeditating a murder, after all.  
  
You like to use me, don't you? They say that turn-about is fair play. . .so how's this for turn-about? Your ex-girlfriend is just like you. . .using me. But you don't realize yet that I am the master.  
  
And I'm the one pulling the strings. 


	2. Jealousy Two

"Jealousy Two" a murder by numbers fanfiction SchizoAuthoress schizoauthoress@hotmail.com  
  
Why am I so possessive of you? We're supposed to hate each other. You can't stand me. That's why we agreed to do this. . . we'd never be associated with each other.  
  
But I'm watching them, like a fucking Peeping Tom. Watching him.  
  
I never expected to develop a crush on you. Or that this crush would just. . .*last* the way that it has. Usually, I have a kind of appreciation for how beautiful someone is. . .jump into bed with them, then forget it.  
  
So why am I here? Am I getting jealous. . .suspicious. . .resentful? Of who, Justin? No, not of Justin. Of Lisa.  
  
The way he looks at her. . .that's how I want him to look at *me.* He's everything to me.  
  
Everything.  
  
Maybe it's because I never got into your pants. But somehow. . .I think it's more than that.  
  
I told him I was free, but in reality, I'm chained to him. A willing little puppet slave chained to his master. The 'longing' looks he gives me with those puppyish blue eyes. . .the softest, slightest pout of those luscious lips. . .Oh, God. I want him. I want him so bad.  
  
I can't stand to see him with that whore. She's not good enough for him. Hell, I'm not good enough for him. No one is.  
  
No one.  
  
Dammit, Justin, don't drag yourself down in the dirt with her. You are an angel.  
  
You're my angel. 


	3. Jealousy Three

"Jealousy Three"   
a murder by numbers fanfiction   
SchizoAuthoress schizoauthoress@hotmail.com  
  
A/N: Takes place after Justin gives Lisa the disc and calls her "quite the slut." Needless to say, I agree. Hate Lisa! Hate Lisa!  
  
Why did he do it? It must be because they hate each other. He can't stand Justin. That's why he gave Justin that tape of him and me...  
  
Richard is just a fucking Peeping Tom. God, I can't believe that he'd...put something like that on *video.* Isn't sex supposed to be a private thing?  
  
I never expected something like sleeping with Richard Haywood to come back and haunt me. I mean, come on. If you know the guy, then you also know that once he's done using you for whatever, he forgets all about what he said to you, all the lies he told you.  
  
So why did he do it? Could he possibly be jealous of Justin?   
  
Richard has to know that I don't feel anything for Justin, except maybe, you know... Justin is simply *gorgeous,* or he would be if he even tried half as much as Richard does. Besides that, Justin is one of the smartest people going to Jefferson High.   
  
It's really just too bad for him that he's an unpopular loner genius dork. I guess somebody forgot to tell him that it's not nice to be smart. But I guess somebody has to be.  
  
Otherwise, who could the beautiful people like me use to get out of this hell-hole?  
  
But this thing with Richard has me a little worried. What if people start thinking I actually *like* Justin Pendleton? God, I hope that isn't the case. Still, if I have to kiss a couple of freaks to get good grades, then I will. No big deal.  
  
I just hope that he doesn't think I actually care about him. 


End file.
